An Honest Personal Ad
30-Something Seeking A Nice Home
Want a puppy but not worry about house training? That’s me! I’m cute and always in search of food. Eventually I’ll grow up to be a decent guard dog; but for now, let’s just play.
I would like to pamper you because I’ll need some goodwill for when I inevitably say the wrong thing. I just will. Mostly because my thought-to-mouth gap is very narrow. It’s just like a puppy gnawing on a heel.
FYI, my family life wasn’t perfect. Maybe my parent’s divorce got it in my head that I shouldn’t grow up. Sorry about that; it wasn’t your fault. However if you’re divorced, I’m very into that. Your expectations will be tempered because you’ve realized that men are simply.. dogs. But not me!
I have a solid day job that I want to pee on. I tolerate it because I’m very patient with unpleasantness. But that also means a potentially lame relationship might linger a few months too long. Treats help the tolerance so careful: they’re a double edge sword.
Did I mention I am a good listener? Please don’t ask me for my opinion because I don’t have one! I think life is one big gray area. Oh, if you press me for the “what are we talk”, I’ll have no idea. Let’s just go for a walk and see where this goes.
